My entire life I felt like I was different, like I didn’t fit in.
I answered the call to ministry at 18 years old. If I am being transparent, at that point in my life, I was not completely accepting of my peculiarity and being obedient to God’s call for me to go into ministry was not an easy one. My entire life I felt like I was different, like I didn’t fit in. I was bullied in elementary school and by the time I got to high school, my outgoing personality made it possible for me to know and be known by a lot of people, but I didn’t call many people friend. High school was the beginning of me accepting the fact that I was different, however, before that, it really bothered me that I didn’t fit in to the norm.
So you can understand how I felt when God decided, in all my awkward glory, to add insult to injury and call me to start preaching!!! As if people needed another reason to look at me differently.
We are called to be peculiar (1 Peter 2:9) in such a way that our actions, personality, and character are a testament to God’s light and goodness in our lives.
As I began my studies fighting against the urge to embrace who I was called to be, I realized that God’s word calls for us to stand out! We as believers are not created to blend in with the world. That pull we feel to do things differently, to carry ourselves a certain way, to treat people with kindness, to go against the grain, to be “awkward”, is the Holy Spirit within us. I realized as I got older that the Holy Spirit was doing a work in me.
2 Corinthians 6:14, 17 states “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?… Therefore, ‘Come out from them and be separate, says the Lord. Touch no unclean thing, and I will receive you.’” I didn’t do what everyone else did all the time, I didn’t follow the crowd, and even though it felt like I was missing out sometimes or that people didn’t understand me, I now realize that it was for a greater purpose.
We are called to be peculiar (1 Peter 2:9) in such a way that our actions, personality, and character are a testament to God’s light and goodness in our lives. I don’t write people off because God didn’t write me off. I don’t judge others because I know there are some things in my past that I’m not proud of. By the grace of God I have matured and He has not defined me by my past mistakes. God has called me to a higher standard and his goodness, grace, and mercy has compelled me to be obedient.
I get it, we live in an age where “YOLO”, “Live life to the fullest”, and “Life is too short enjoy it while you can” are used as excuses for poor judgement and recklessness. However, as people of God we can not subscribe to that kind of thinking. Jesus states in Mark 8:36 “For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?” Yes I will only live once, Yes life is short, and yes I want to enjoy it to the fullest, but I also don’t want to lose my soul doing it the wrong way.
It’s hard to fit in when you are called to stand out. It’s hard to be understood in a room full of old creations when you are a new creature.
Let me be honest and say it’s not always easy! As a 25 year old newly ordained reverend, I can tell you I still don’t fit in, I still get lonely sometimes, and I still want to do what every other 25 year old is doing at times, and yes, I do wonder why God called me. But now, I confidently embrace my calling! I proudly describe myself as weird! And although It took me a long time to get here, I’m here!
It’s hard to fit in when you are called to stand out. It’s hard to be understood in a room full of old creations when you are a new creature. However, just remember that you are not alone and you’ve got a peculiar sister named Katrina at Live Life Naked that gets you! Welcome to the Club!
I love you on purpose…