However, I realized that making the sacrifice, was never about the other person; It was always about a deeper intimacy with the lord.
As we kiss June goodbye and celebrate the kick off to summer, I can’t help but notice the thick attraction of lust saturating the air. Within the last couple of weeks we have been stuck in a heat wave; the shorts are shorter, and the men can hardly contain themselves as they get ready for the return of sundress weather.
I wonder if Many people knew that this past June 2017 was National Celibacy month. Celibacy in the summer seems unheard of for most people right? Who can resist the hints of sexuality; we live in a world where our minds are overwhelmed with the presence of sex. Sex is everywhere; in tooth paste commercials, burger ad’s, and day time TV. With all of these glaring hints to come out of our clothes, how can we be expected not to have sex?
Although the answer is simple, the path to redemption is usually filled with roadblock and potholes. A lot of us struggle with the idea or the act of abstaining from sex, due to our inability to understand the true reason God did not ordain it before marriage.
Sex, according to the bible, is the beginning of the binding process of marriage, the becoming of one flesh with your lifelong partner. Mark 10:8 states “For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; 8 And they two shall be one flesh: so then they are no more two, but one flesh.”
Ok, I know you’re saying Shonté, that say’s nothing about Sex and can totally mean becoming one flesh in marriage. However, 1 Corinthians explains it further; “Or do you not know that he who is joined (has Sex) to a harlot (Whore) is one body with her? For “the two,” He says, “shall become one flesh.” 17 But he who is joined to the Lord is one spirit with Him.”
Although the answer is simple,the path to redemption is usually filled with roadblock and potholes.
The bible clearly tells us that sex is the binding of two people into one flesh. The beginning of the binding process of marriage. Sacred for the one person who is meant to be your lifelong partner. As a believer, you are joined in one spirit with the Lord.
Can you imagine being inside your body and having no control over what you’re body does. Like, you feel and experience everything, but you have no say in your actions. That’s how the Holy Spirit feels who resides in you. To think about it, it’s kinda like the movie Get Out, and The Holy spirit is in the “Sunken Place”. Yes, it’s that deep.
With that said, I want to tell you about the day I decided to save myself for marriage. the day I decided to take the Holy Spirit in me out of the “Sunken Place”.
I was in a serious relationship and let’s just say we started off very physical. This was also during the time I had rededicated myself back to the lord and felt the pull of the Holy Spirit inside of me gently pleading for me to dedicate my body back to the Lord until marriage.
Can you imagine the nervousness I felt? I was about to tell the man that I had come to love that we could no longer have sex. The butterflies in my stomach mocked me as I rehearsed my speech in the mirror.
As I meditated on the scripture “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” I began to truly look at myself and question what I was doing to myself operating out of God’s will for me. I looked into my own eyes and instantly recognized the damaged I’ve done to my heart by having sex before Gods time. I had bonded to other’s in the past that were not worthy of me, and now as I gazed in the mirror, I realized that I was doing a disservice to the one man who I finally felt with my spirit could be the one. Me giving myself to him, was also keeping him from the prize and joys that came with marriage. That came with “finding a wife”. Not only was I lowering my worth in Christ, but I was also giving him his prize prematurely.
Can you imagine being inside your body and having no control over what you’re body does.
Worry began to set in as I realized that we had already united in one flesh. Would he stay? Would he leave? Should I take this risk? The Holy Spirit assured me that I had to take the risk. I had this calm determination in my spirit. I knew my God wouldn’t send me a man that wouldn’t wait with me. Let just say trusting Gods timing is not easy but it was right on time!
My man welcomed my decision to wait. Now before you get all, “this is the perfect ending” on me, it has not been easy. I’m still in my relationship, but yes it’s been a long road and we do slip up sometime. However, I realized that making the sacrifice, was never about the other person; It was always about a deeper intimacy with the lord.
I Clearly see the women that God created me to be. I have this inner glow I’ve never had before, a confidence that comes with being one with the Lord.
Being celibate isn’t corny or old school. It’s the opportunity to wait on the person God has for you and share in an amazing relationship with the Lord. How will you know if he/she see’s you past sex if you don’t trust God and test those waters?
Here’s some advice, well if you want it. Rock that boat, trouble those safe waters, and finally let the Holy Spirit out of the “Sunken Place”!
Guest Blogger/Author: Shonté Cherry