The “Men all Pause as I walk in the room!

Woman wearing nude colored shoes and skirt; fashion shoot in old city

For most women, getting all dolled up on a Saturday night includes some kind of ritual. We just can’t help ourselves right? The excitement of choosing the right dress, taking forever to line our lips, and changing our shoes 3 or 4 times makes it all worthwhile. 

I want to tell you girls about the Saturday  night that things began to change for me…

It was about a year ago, and I was blasting my old school jam,”The Men All Pause” by Klymaxx. I swayed over to my closet moving my hips to match the seamless beat of my face. I felt so sexy and I could feel the wild lust boiling through me. I was so ready to be worshiped; to be praised for all my hard work. “Men all pause as I walk into the room!” I sang along. 

This dress was my weapon!

Out of nowhere I could feel another force deep inside of me; and girls this was a force I didn’t want to deal with. I knew it was the Lord questioning tonight’s fashion choices. You see girls, this was around the time that I started reading the Bible again and pursuing my relationship with Christ.

“Oh why lord, why can’t I wear this little sheer black dress? The girls are sitting right tonight!”

The Lord never answered me about the dress. He never scolded me, but instead I began to experience  this overwhelming feeling of love infusing through my core.  I was His daughter, His beloved, and he didn’t want my girls hanging out for all to see.  Then it hit me; I was still dealing with past hurts that included rejection, unworthiness, and heart break.  

You see ladies, during this time, I was also in a committed relationship.  We were so serious and in love that we began discussing marriage!  So why did I still need attention from other men?  I realized at that moment that my issues were bigger than my clothing choices.

This dress was my weapon! Sexiness was my armor! And I was ready to prove my worthiness to the world, exposing just enough skin to win the battle. 

The Bible explains in 1 Timothy 2:8  that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control. Tough pill to swallow right? 

We live in a world of selfies and Snap Chat filters.  We are so obsessed with sexy, we don’t realize how far we fell from modesty and self control.  How many of us are over exposed as a means of our worth?

Psalms 139: 14 states “I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well.”

Then it hit me, I was still dealing with past hurts that included rejection, unworthiness, and heart break. 

God has told us that we do not need validation of our worth and beauty from others.  His works are marvelous and we have been made in such a way, that our individual uniqueness and beauty can only be understood through a true relationship with our creator.   Modesty (behavior, manner, or appearance intended to avoid impropriety or indecency) and self control in our clothing choices allows the world to get to know the beauty that is our soul, before introducing it to the flesh that will one day fade away.

Proverbs 31:30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.

Our true praise does not come from our ability to beat our faces, or position our bodies in a way that leave us breathless for the right selfie;  It’s the fear of Lord, that fear of disappointing the one who created us in astonishing grace for a greater purpose. That fear of disappointing the one who truly loves you.  That fear of living out of relationship with the one who pursues us in love.

I’m not here to judge girls so please don’t take it that way. I’m just a woman that still struggles in my walk of wanting to look sexy & obeying God. 

What I will say is there is a time and a place for everything under the sun (Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8). And I know that there will be circumstances that God will permit me to have those girls sitting up right lounging on a beautiful beach or for that perfect date with my future husband; no longer needing validation from other’s, fully engulfed in the love of God, and fully understanding of the reasons behind my attire.  But for now, I’m growing each and every time I go to grab a dress, while the Holy Spirit corrects my fashion choices with love.

Our true praise does not come from our ability to beat our faces, or position our bodies in a way that leave us breathless for the right selfie.

God doesn’t make me feel like a Jezebel; instead the creator of all heaven and earth makes me feel so beautiful from the inside, that I’m beginning to see that I don’t need that sheer dress to feel validated, worthy, or loved.

Signed- A work in progress, who will soon need to go on a new shopping spree with some of her Live Life Naked friends!

Guest Blogger/Author: Shonte Cherry