Ladies don’t you just love the L’ORÉAL commercials? You know the ones where, Kerry Washington, Freda Pinto or some gorgeous super model walks slowly towards the camera. The Beauties swing their freshly blown out hair, batting perfect eyelashes.
Then out of no where we hear a confident, “And you’re worth it too!”
Hook, line and sinker it works every time. I would do my best impression in front of the mirror prancing and posing to mimic whatever starlet L’ORÉAL hired to entice me to buy what they were selling (Which normally worked). Now don’t get me wrong I’m not bashing L’ORÉAL, I love their products and those commercial’s; but I want to ask you ladies a quick question:
How many of you believe it?
Do you really believe that you’re worth it too?
Now, don’t answer too fast. Sit for a second and examine the question; first identifying the feeling that grabbed a hold of your heart when the questions were first asked. Was there any uneasiness, paranoia, or even anger that I’d ask such a question? or maybe it was pride?
Well, whatever it was, your first reaction is the true answer and it’s a disarming one if we are being honest. I can remember the first time someone asked me that question. I quickly became offended. I murmured something along the lines of, “of course I feel worth it! I’m strong, I take care of myself, and I’m Smart!” Does any of this sound familiar?
Secretly the question crippled me. I carried the spirit of rejection, unwariness, and guilt on my shoulders for so many years it was a miracle that the weight of it didn’t buckle my knees. I made sure I was flawless on the outside just as the starlets in the L’ORÉAL commercials but on the inside I was wounded. Wounded from having a child out of wedlock as a teen, wounded from every lie that was spoken over my life, and wounded from shame.
I want to take you gals on a quick journey of my own worthiness and how I realized I was operating out of the exact opposite of Gods best and what he wanted for me.
Wounds fester, they stink and they control every decision we make in life from our attitudes, jobs, and dating choices. Especially, with men and dating choices! Sorry to go there girls but lets just say your dating choices are a result of your worthiness.
After reading that last sentence did you get a quick flash of some of the not-so-great- loves you had in the past? If so it’s OK. The world judges but I know a love that will snatch you out of the pit of unworthiness and heal those wounds.
Let’s see what the Bible says about shame:
The Bible says in Isiah 54:4
“Fear not, for you will not be ashamed; be not confounded, for you will not be disgraced; for you will forget the shame of your youth, and the reproach of your widowhood you will remember no more.
You see Girls God does not want us in unworthiness or shame. Isn’t that good news! However, I bet some of you are reading this, rolling your eyes saying; “Yup that’s great news but how do I get to the point where I’m not dating a guy who doesn’t honor me, or just going against my urge to have a warm body next to me at night?”
In my case, I called out to God and simply asked for help. That takes vulnerability and faith, knowing that he will answer. I can’t say at that point that I had a lot of both, but the little that I did have pushed me to try. The healing was not over night. I was over dating Guru’s and motivational speakers. I actually did something that many women don’t do. I stopped taking my girlfriends advice, I didn’t grab the papers and write to ask Abbey. I got in a quiet place and I opened the bible! Although I was a Christian it still felt weird to trust God at his word because I was so broken. I actually thought this wasn’t for me, boy was I wrong.
Jesus said in Matthew 11:28-30
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light
I thought to myself, why not. I had tried everything else. So one night I decided to talk to Jesus. I opened my pink bible burned a scented candle (because I’m dramatic lol!) and I cracked open the word of God. This unworthiness was getting heavy and Jesus told me that he would give me rest. Again this change was not over night, but over a period of time I began to understand that I was worthy, honored, and loved by God.
Isaiah 61:3 says,
To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that he might be glorified.
My heart began to change as I envisioned God placing a crown of beauty on my head and trading it for my ashes. Every time I read this scripture I smile at how kind the lord is to those of us that believe. I realized that God is never going to place my heart in the hands of a man that isn’t ready or who isn’t worthy because I/you are his beloved.
I want to leave you with this; there is NOTHING that you could DO or have DONE to make God stop loving you. He will replace your unworthiness, your bitterness, and your rejection with a spirit of praise and internal beauty. As always I’m still a work in progress but let’s just say when those L’ORÉAL commercials come on, I prance around in the living room for a totally different reason!
Guest Blogger/Author: Shont’e Cherry